May 21st- Miami
Miami days are always hectic. It always seems I’m trying to make lists to see what I have to do just to make sure everything gets accomplished. The day started off a bit rough. I wanted to leave the ship a little early because I had heard about a good grocery store and I wanted to go by and pick up a few things. So I decided I would make an attempt to sleep in for a bit and head out around 10. That way there wouldn’t be much of a line to get off the ship. Sure enough I was correct and I got off pretty easy. There was only one problem. A couple of days ago in Grand Turk I was swimming and came across a really cool conch shell. I thought it looked pretty cool so I picked it up and put it in my bag. It looked like a giant C had been stamped in it or something or maybe it was the coloration of the shell. Either way it looked cool so I brought it back onboard. I checked it to make sure nothing was living in the shell before I brought it back though. Security would have a great time with that if there had been something living in it. So I go through security and they search my bag and find the shell, no worries I thought. Apparently this was a big deal. They told me that I couldn’t take it off the ship and I would have to declare it with customs. Apparently they thought that it was an “animal byproduct.” Education lesson: Shells don’t come from animals! Then they started to ask me why I picked it up. I told them I just thought it looked nice and wanted to send it to a friend. It just looked cool. By this time a line has formed and people are starting to get antsy and I was trying to get off with some friends and I was holding everyone else up too. I tried to tell them there was nothing living in it and thought it was pretty so I picked it up. He couldn’t fathom why I would want to pick up this conch shell. We went back and forth for a few minutes and he finally told me that I had to check with MSA to see if it was ok if I took it off. Oh my God. Fine. So I grabbed my bag and went down the hall to the MSA office. I plopped the shell on the table and explained the situation and they looked at me like I had three heads. “Uh, of COURSE you can.” (subtext: DUH) I told them that security thought it was an animal byproduct and they just laughed and said that it had no customs value and not to worry about it. Cool. I then trekked all the way back to security and walked right through the metal detector and handed him the shell. The security guys made a whole bunch of faces and pointed to the back of the line. I had to be screened again?? Really?? Ugh. Fine. I waited my turn and went through the metal detector and pat down again this time holding the bloody shell. I then proceeded to tell security again that the MSA said it would be fine and it didn’t have any value. The head security guy then made another weird face. I guess he didn’t believe me so he called the office just to be sure. The lady at MSA must have been angry with him because the conversation didn’t last long. After he got off the phone he waved me through and I quickly put the shell back in my bag before they could change their minds. After I got off the gangway I had to explain to everyone why it took so bloody long. Moral of the story, try not to get gifts for people. I had heard some pretty nasty stories about security but I didn’t know a conch shell would cause this much trouble. Daniel was telling me the other day when he was on another ship they had to change out the gigantic carbon dioxide tanks (used for low rolling smoke during shows) and put them in the marshalling area. Normally you pressurize the tanks and if the tanks get too pressurized they automatically vent until they’re less than 350 psi. Apparently Dan got a call in the middle of the night from security saying that he needed to come down to marshalling immediately because the tanks were leaking. He tried to explain that they just vent but decided to head down there to explain everything. Once he got down there pointed to the CO2 tank and said that they needed to seal the tank because it’s a “fire hazard.” Dan just broke out laughing because a CO2 tank isn’t a fire hazard. In fact it’s basically a giant fire extinguisher (we have CO2 fire extinguishers onboard) and they can’t seal the tank because then it could possibly rupture if it didn’t vent properly. Daniel didn’t say how long that whole venture lasted but I bet it was a good amount of time because on top of that all the security personnel are Indian and there is somewhat of a language barrier there as well. After I made it off the ship I headed straight for downtown. I wanted to mail this shell home so I stopped by CVS and picked up a small box. I didn’t bother with tape because I thought I could just borrow some from the mailing center down the way. My next stop was a little convenience store about half a block from the mailing center. Ryan had told me about some great Cuban coffee you could get there and bought me a glass a couple of weeks ago. I’m not one for coffee but this was quite delicious. It may be better than Starbucks. With my Life Nectar in hand I headed to the mailing center. As it turns out they didn’t have any tape for me to borrow so I ended up having to buy some at the store itself. Talk about expensive. After I accomplished that mission I headed to the metro mover so I could meet up with Bryan and Ryan to go to the grocery store. I have heard about buying some food to stash in your cabin but I didn’t really want a lot of things. We took the metro mover right to the grocery store. It took a little while but at least it was free transportation. We arrived at a little Publix near the bayside. I was pretty quick picking up my stuff, just some vitamins, some granola bars, instant rice and Naked juice. I decided to splurge on the Naked juice. I knew it wouldn’t keep long but I could drink it after a hard day’s work or something. I had to wait a bit for everyone to be done which took a little while. Ryan had almost a whole shopping cart of stuff he wanted to buy. I didn’t really know how he would get it all home but I guess we would figure that out. After our little shopping trip to the grocery store I told them that I absolutely had to go find a chase bank. Oi, I wish I could be a member of a bank that had branches across the us. I managed to find one about half a mile from the grocery store. We didn’t want to lug all the groceries half a mile so we called for a cab. The journey felt like we spent 30 seconds in the cab before it stopped at the bank. Being on a limited time schedule time is sometimes more valuable than money, especially in Miami. We told the cab to wait so I ran inside to deposit some cash. I had no idea what my account number is so I had to wait in the long line for a teller. It seemed like every minute felt like a second as the meter was still running on the cab outside. I haven’t really used this account at all so I couldn’t remember my pin or any other information about my account. So the teller said I would have to talk to an account manager to get the pin reset. Damn. I didn’t have a lot of time and I really needed to get something to eat. (Time > sleep > food > money) The teller did her magic and at the end she tried to get me a credit card. I tried not to laugh but it must have showed because she chuckled too. I told her I have some and I’ve been trying to pay them off so I’m not interested. After the bank we headed to bayside. I’ve never been there before but Ryan said that there was a pretty good steakhouse there and it had a little mall as well. The taxi dropped us off by the mall and it was just like the mall in south beach. Most of the shops were outdoors and you walked from shop to shop. We ignored most of them just to head to the steakhouse. Whenever someone says we’re going to a steakhouse it normally means it would be expensive. Not to mention upper class and carrying groceries into an upper class establishment seemed very wrong to me. This was a little different though. It was basically a steakhouse buffet. You could have all the steak you can eat and a bottle of wine was included in the buffet price. It was delicious, a far difference from the mess. I have a feeling I’m going to put on some weight after leaving here but maybe I can go to the gym or something. HA! After lunch we made our way to the shops. We didn’t have a lot of time but Ryan needed to pick something up at Express so I figured I’d just tag along. After he picked up a couple of shirts we headed back to the ship. I finished a bit of internet in the taxi on the way back and boarded the ship without any problems. After I got back aboard I spent the rest of my shore time calling people and see how they all were doing. Boat drill was the same as usual and I didn’t have anyone try to faint on me this time.
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